WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
