Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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