:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
