remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think I won the penis lottery.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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