Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
