Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
