so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
