I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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