"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
