It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
