Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize
