he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
