it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
