Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
