i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My dick has a subreddit
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
