its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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