I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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