some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I cut my penus on the lid.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
