so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
