allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
