is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
two words: eviction party
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
