I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
