im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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