You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
