He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
