Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
