It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
