He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
