Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
BRING THE BAGELS
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
