Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
it's like iHOP with fire
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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