you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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