seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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