So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
