Betty ford says i'm here all night
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
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