I can tuck mytits in my pants
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize