Pappa wants mamma naked
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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