apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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