no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Well I just put wine in my tea
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
