1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
