I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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