Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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