so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
