do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
