did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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