6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
