Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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