a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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