we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
