when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
