I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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