You just made me feel so damn special
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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