when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she pinky promised me she was 18
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
After tacos, we're chasing women.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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