I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
